From the Depths of Addiction to Serenity
No ears could hear me, no arms could hold me As I cried out in pain, gripped in lonely despair The darkness of my shadow, only my soul will care
My fear, dense and stark, my spirit angry Only crawling along, battered and bruised Just leaving me nothing, feeling angry, abused
The shame so great, the hurt too heavy to breathe My ego long gone, taking with it dignity and respect Dragging loved ones, friends, strangers to any effect
I longed for relief, understanding, to change But no direction in sight nor a future to see Because I hate the world, and the world hates me
Emptiness gnaws away in my innards and heart The toxic waves of my thoughts crashing in my head Disquiet is my neighbour, my only friend is dread
Drugs can’t ease my pain, drinks can’t quench my thirst One more does not start and a thousand will not complete My race to find a solution, to save me from defeat
I have reached my bottomless pit, I have stumbled my last I shall dive into the darkness, let it swallow me whole It makes so much sense to destroy this miserable soul
I silently cry to an unhearing world – “you have forsaken me” But His ears do hear me, and His arms do hold me He lifts my fractured frame, gently whispers – “look and see
This is not your life and this is not for you The Devil chose this path and built its wicked layout Come hold my hand, stay close, I have the way out”
I dared to take a glimpse and peaked with baited breath A garden overflowing – verdant, lush and bright Pathways clearly marked, and signposts filled with light
To the left a sign said “Refreshment come Bathe with me” Through the arch I followed to a pool so crystal clear A waterfall gently bubbling, healing waters, music to my ear
I climbed into those waters and let the waves flow free They washed over my head and lapped into my being My skin and bones releasing filthy dirt inside – so freeing
Now to the right another junction “Bounteous Feast for All” Shiny stepping-stones guide me through an orchard of excess My empty belly griping – just hoping for the best
Indeed a feast awaited, the table bowed with pride Every good morsel your palate could desire was there The flavours, colours, aromas galore – filled the air
I ate my fill and more – nothing had ever tasted this good My body relaxing, eyelids heavy and strong, limbs like lead God smiled, whispering in my ear as he laid me into bed
“Sleep soundly my little one, take your well-earned rest Tomorrow we shall talk and I will make it clear How to have this life for good, relax now – I will stay near”
The next thing I remember was waking from my slumber I looked around in bewilderment, I cried out in fright But that gentle voice reminded me “I am here day and night”
When you walk with me, you will never be alone So let us start our journey and leave old ways behind There is a life worth living, many miracles you will find
“I want it, I need it, I will do anything you ask” Hot tears streaming channels down my face as I speak “Please help me Lord – this pain too great, I am too weak”
The Lord smiled down “Your surrender is most welcome It’s the key to the door – the entrance way to hope Hold on to this gift of desperation – with it you can cope
Fear not my child – you are not the first to fall astray There is strong support – a group of fellow sinners Taking solid STEPS outlined have turned them into winners”
“Show me these champions, these giants supreme” So He led me through a simple room and sat me at the table “Quietly listen to their stories, their similarities will enable”
I watched in wonder as each seat filled With humble men and women, from every tribe and nation Both rich and poor, multi-creed, every generation
As each one spoke, shared a thought, read out loud Their stories raw but true, an honesty surreal How I wanted what they had – just let go – just feel
A faint voice within me muttered “Hi, I’m new, I am an Addict” A resounding welcome boomed back with smiles galore “You’re the reason we are here – our gift to give more
These global rooms are open, waiting just for you ……. The newcomer is our purpose, our gift from up above The way to reach out, unify our support – for God is Love”
In that very instant I knew I had found my home My peace, my hope, my salvation I will forever cherish my onwards upwards journey
My steps to SERENITY
Anonymous
