Alcohol Addiction and Changed Behaviour
Spouses, partners, children, family, friends, a career, a culture, and a religion might be overshadowed by the desire to consume alcohol often. In many cases, alcoholics or alcohol addicts lie to get more alcohol. As this continues to happen, those around him or her might begin to feel upset about their loved ones dishonesty and behaviours. If you can relate to a similar situation, it might help you to understand the motivation behind the dishonesty. As a result, you can discover what may be going on in the mind of your loved one; therefore, respond appropriately to their alcohol addiction.
Why Honesty Is Not Often Present in An Alcoholic Person
When a person struggles with an alcohol addiction, they might appear to live a double life – and lying could be large contributor. For instance, the life that is presented to family, friends, and others may be very different from the reality of the life that person is living. To portray this, a very intricate set of lies must be developed, and practiced, in order to remain undiscovered.
As an alcohol rehab in Thailand, we know of many people who lied for many years about their addiction to alcohol. Family and friends typically struggle to understand the reason behind these lies; however, David Sack, MD from PsychCentral, suggests the following explanations:
- To Preserve the Addiction – When it comes to a person with an alcohol addiction, the two most important things in their life may be to get and use alcohol. They might do whatever they can to maintain their addiction. Lying essentially becomes a way to preserve their current way of life.
- To Avoid Reality – A person who is addicted to alcohol may create a reality where they are doing what everyone wants and hopes for; however, the truth is that no change has taken place. For example, they might swear to family that they’re going to AA meetings every week or that they’ve stopped buying alcohol when in fact they are not doing so at all.
- To Avoid Confrontation – It is very uncommon for people around an alcoholic to not voice their concerns about the situation. Rather, friends and family might ask questions or voice their worries, and when they don’t get the answers they had been hoping for, they get upset. This dialogue can result in stressful conflict which leads to lies in order to avoid confrontation. Many people who are addicted to alcohol lack coping skills to address confrontation in a healthy way. Rather, they might get upset, become defensive, or draw attention to issues that another person might have.
To Deny the Problem – Regardless of how much evidence might exist to suggest a problem with alcohol, the addict might deny their drinking and any related consequences. Denial is a way to ensure the survival of the addict and their alcohol use. The individual might choose denial because they see no other way to address the problem.
In addition to the above, alcohol addicts lie about their addiction to alcohol because they believe they are different. In a sense, they have convinced themselves that they are not the same as other people who “really have a problem”. This isn’t just a lie to others, but also a lie to themselves in that they are okay, when they are actually not.
How to Cope with the Dishonesty of an Alcohol Addiction
As the loved one of an alcohol addict who lies about their alcohol addiction, you might struggle to cope with the situation. You want so much for them to realise they need help, but you might realise they are only saying the things you want to hear. Being able to differentiate between truth, lies, and reality can leave you feeling emotionally overwhelmed and hopeless.
Because it can be so difficult to deal with this situation, it is important you take care of yourself. There are support groups for friends and family members of alcoholics. Al-Anon is the most popular group, and can be found throughout the world. Counselling may also be a useful tool to help you cope with the effects of a loved ones’ addiction.
Responding to Dishonesty
You should have a practical plan in place and ready to go for when alcohol addicts lie to you. You can only change your behaviour, and no one else’s. Therefore, if you have engaged in any enabling behaviour, it may be a good idea to stop. Other ways you can help yourself to cope with a situation wherein alcohol addicts lie includes:
- Avoid taking the blame
- Avoid taking things personally.
- Avoid trying to control the situation.
- Avoid accepting any behaviour that is unacceptable.
- Don’t ignore getting help for yourself.
You can’t change their behaviours, but you can change the way you respond to their behaviours, and this can make a difference in your life, as well as theirs.
Finding Help for Your Loved One
Understanding why most alcohol addicts lie, and realising your loved one’s lies are contributing to their problem is a big step. As a Thailand treatment centre, Siam Rehab can help you and your loved one to take that step. Our coordinators are available to address your concerns and questions. If you would like to know how our Thailand treatment centre may be able to help someone who is addicted to alcohol, call Siam Rehab.
Read more about alcohol addiction here:
https://siamrehab.com/alcohol-addiction
Or why alcohol is so addictive here:
https://siamrehab.com/why-is-alcohol-so-addictive
Sources:
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/addiction-recovery/2014/03/7-honest-reasons-why-addicts-lie/
